Better leadership through better communication

Introduction

Here at InnerWork Coaching, we support emerging and established leaders in developing the knowledge, skills, and awareness to step more fully into their roles. As leaders grow their capacities and become more established, they invariably confront the need to develop their ability to communicate. Leaders are asked to effectively articulate company vision and goals, align key team members around their decision making process, speak vulnerably about themselves as a person, navigate interpersonal development with their team, and be prepared for the full spectrum of conversations they may encounter in their roles. Whether these conversations focus on business opportunities, personal struggles, or interpersonal challenges, a leader with elevated communication skills will be positioned to support their team members and to lead more effectively.

From our vantage point, the development of concrete skills is interwoven with the attentiveness to our inner work - our efforts to evaluate, inspect, and come to understand our worldview . Our inner work leads to the awareness and insight that helps to animate the skills we are attempting to use. Without good insight to animate our skill adoption, we are at risk of unproductive answers or applying skills in a way that feels robotic and ineffective to those we are leading. In the end, it is our inner work that sets the stage for us to recognize our repetitive patterns of communicating, to develop the capacity to truly listen, and to communicate in a manner that is authentic.

In our culture, we face a deficit of authentic listening, and as humans, we respond deeply when we receive the focused attention of an active listener. When leaders do the work and unlock the capacity to truly listen, they will be prepared for more successful conversations and authentic, connected communication. By demonstrating genuine listening, a leader will make team members feel truly heard. Leaders will also be more attuned to how their messages are being understood when they take the time to listen to feedback from their team. And in times of conflict, the ability to listen becomes the essential ingredient necessary to navigate a challenging conversation without falling prey to reactivity.

Our experience has yielded insight into familiar patterns and places where leaders can focus their attention and see improvements in their ability to effectively communicate and activate this necessity of genuinely hearing. Today, we’ll examine ten common aspects of effective communication and illustrate how a leader can gain insight and awareness to become a stronger communicator. These techniques will support communication skills and positive team environments and can be applied concurrently or in any order: many are interconnected and will build upon each other.

Be aware of nonverbal communication

We are all attuned to nonverbal cues and how they guide our actions and behaviors. For instance, think of a time when you realized a close friend was having a bad day despite saying out loud that they were fine: it’s likely your perception of their nonverbal cues, such as the slump of their shoulders or their lack of eye contact, tipped you off to something else happening behind their words. Yet, for many of us, when we engage in a conversation, we pay attention to the words that are said at the expense of the message that is communicated. Effective communicators are aware of what they are saying and how they convey the message. When delivering or receiving a message, they pay attention to body language and other crucial nonverbal cues. 

Choose to speak up

While navigating human relationships, we sometimes have to say difficult or uncomfortable things. Rather than choosing to convey these messages respectfully, many people will choose to say nothing. However, this rarely leads to a resolution of the problem; rather, it can create inertia or even actively harm the relationship or the objective. An effective communicator will default to more communication, not less. Understanding how to approach sensitive or difficult conversations requires someone to be in tune with their own understanding of a situation and how the other party may interpret it. In short, it is much easier to tackle these types of conversations when a person has done the inner work to create a strong and confident awareness of themself and how they interact with others.

Encourage open and honest conversations

Most individuals agree that open and honest conversations are necessary and beneficial in professional and personal contexts. However, whether due to fear, insecurity, or lack of experience, many individuals will refrain from engaging fully. A leader who demonstrates a commitment to open and honest conversations will help to create an environment of trust and mutual support and enable other team members to do the same. Crucially, a leader needs to recognize that, when confronted with a moment where they are struggling to say something, this moment is in fact a signal that they are in the zone of building the kind of trust they say they want to have. Rather than stepping back from this zone of discomfort, a leader who chooses to forge on and have the courage to engage in challenging conversations will reap the benefits of trust and relationship that result.

Focus on developing listening skills

While we spend hours of each day listening, many of us operate on autopilot and spend little or no time intentionally developing listening skills. By practicing active listening and observing how we approach listening in various spheres of our lives—doing the inner work on improving our habits and understanding—we can enhance our capacity to listen and truly hear what is being said.

Seek feedback from those we communicate with frequently

Our perception of our communication skills will always be one-sided. While practicing active listening, engaging in reflection, and practicing other communication skills can help support our self-awareness and enhance our ability to communicate effectively, some of the most valuable insights will come from those we are communicating with. A crucial part of growing as a communicator is asking intentional questions and soliciting feedback from those who consistently experience us. In self reflection, we often focus or judge ourselves on the intent of our actions, rather than the impact of these actions on others. By collecting feedback on the impact of our actions, rather than focusing on intentions, a leader will know where to focus when pursuing ongoing inner work.

Take the time to get to know people

While many of us engage in superficial conversations and social niceties, it’s not as common to truly do the work of getting to know others as individuals. As humans, we are still social creatures who exist in the context of relationships. Communication is built on the foundation of connection, trust, and knowing. An effective leader will realize the importance of taking time to get to know those on their team. Through this understanding and with the ability to place themselves in the shoes of those with whom they are communicating, they’ll be able to communicate more effectively than by simply applying “communication hacks.”

What am I not saying that needs to be said? - Jerry Colonna

Understand the power of trust

After practicing active listening, creating an environment of open conversation, and getting to know others personally, a level of trust has typically been established. However, two common issues arise when it comes to trust: many leaders fail to utilize this trust in key moments, while others will skip these earlier steps and attempt to operate without trust at all.

In a trusting environment, there is more room for risk: because we have done the work to create trust, we can weather struggles, tackle controversies or disagreements, and pursue bolder goals. An effective leader with a strong capacity for communication will understand how to leverage the power of trust to benefit all. 

Focus on the details

Leaders who have established the groundwork for effective communication can take professional conversations and performance to a higher level by communicating with more specificity. 

Without effective communication, questions are often broad, generic, and unlikely to yield actionable insights and results. Sharper, more detailed questions can result in powerful insights. For instance, rather than asking for general feedback on a pitch or presentation, one could ask, “What were the top three moments during my pitch when you felt most engaged with what I was saying?” By focusing on the details, a leader will demonstrate their genuine interest in hearing the other person’s experience, rather than soliciting broad feedback as a box-checking exercise. A robust conversation that asks for detailed feedback will reinforce a pattern of effective communication and lead to even greater clarity in future communications. 

Ask for clarification

When it comes to important conversations, meaning is everything. Listening and communicating during these conversations is not just about giving and receiving words. It is about coming to a deeper understanding of what each person means by the words they are using. 

It also asks the individual to consider what they are reacting to that is not actually being said. Whether due to unclear language, ineffective listening, or other internal dialogues that have yet to be fully uncovered, a leader must be prepared to ask for clarification until both parties fully understand what is being said and what that means for the engagement.

Acknowledge the universal importance of being heard

The desire to be deeply heard is so universal that if a leader merely helps the people around them to feel heard, they will walk away with the impression of a positive experience. Making people feel heard can go a long way to defusing anger, frustration, or other negative emotions, opening the door to more honest conversations, deeper connections, and a foundation of trust.

Concluding Thoughts

Many of the techniques described in this article may sound familiar, and perhaps that is one of the lessons of communication: insight doesn’t always lead to change. The work lies in figuring out how we, as individual leaders, start to live out these answers and practices. It all begins with doing the inner work. 

Without insight, we are rarely able to bring about positive change, but after doing the inner work and internalizing the insight, it is still our choice and responsibility to take action and pursue positive change.  

All too often, we become aware of something without feeling the impetus to take action. In the long run, issues and weak points in our communication patterns compound. The more people we interact with, the more crucial our communication skills become and the greater the impact—positive or negative—of our communication methods. 

By thoughtfully engaging in reflection, doing the inner work to gain and then apply our insights, and intentionally focusing on actions to enhance communication, we position ourselves for successful conversations that reflect the inherent humanity, value, and potential of every person we encounter.